Jack and the Beanstalk My Way

Once upon a time in a land that is no more, but lived for many years in the Black Forest of Germany there lived a boy named Jack.  He lived with his mother and father in a little cottage in the forest.

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His mother and father loved each other very much and all was happy for several years.  Then Jack’s father passed away leaving  Jack and his mother penniless because he had not invested his money wisely in mutual funds.

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All Jack and his mother had left was one tiny cow who had gone dry and gave no milk.  So Jack’s mother told Jack to go into the village and sell the cow to get money to buy some food.  Jack was all excited about getting out of the house and going into town even if he didn’t have any money to spend.  He and the cow walked down the dusty road toward the village and along the way Jack met a strange little man.

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A little man with soulful eyes and a big, wet nose who carried with him a sack of beans.

“Would you like to buy these beans?” asked the little man.  He held them in front of Jack’s eyes.  “They are magic beans,” said the man.  Jack, not being the brightest bulb in the chandelier, thought this was a pretty good deal so he agreed to buy the beans with the cow.

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A full sack of beans.  “What a deal!” Jack thought to himself.  “I wonder what is magic about them?  I forgot to ask.”  He turned to look and the strange little man and Jack’s cow had disappeared.  “Oh, well,” said Jack and he turned to go back home.

Once home Jack ran to his mother to show her the magic beans.  Needless to say, she was not happy.  Nor was she too bright either as she threw the beans out the window instead of making a good bean soup that would have staved off starvation for a while.  “We may as well go to bed,” said Jack’s mother.  “We will have to think of something tomorrow.”

So Jack and his mother went to bed.  While they slept, the magic beans began to grow.  They grew higher and higher until their tops reached clear into the sky and beyond.

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Jack awoke the next morning and went outside and to his amazement saw a giant beanstalk growing in the yard.  Without further ado, Jack began to climb the beanstalk.

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Up and up he went, into the clouds and beyond.  After climbing for hours, he came upon a magical land in the clouds and there stood a giant castle.  Jack ran up to the castle door and knocked, but no one answered, so he slowly opened the door and peeked inside.  There he saw a table groaning with all kinds of good food to eat.  He climbed the leg post, onto the table and began to feast upon the delicious food.

Suddenly, Jack heard the castle door bang open and a loud voice yell, “Fee, Fi, Fo Fum, I smell the blood of an Englishman.  Be he alive or be he dead, I’ll grind his bones to make my bread.”

Now Jack, not being an Englishman, but a German from the Black Forest did not fear the giant even though he was very scary looking.

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The fact he had no clothes on was a little disconcerting, but Jack rolled with the flow and decided to make friends.  Before he spoke the giant called for his chickens.

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He had several chickens who he had named.  Dorcas, Beatrice, Penninah, Jemima, Freedom and Phoebe.  They all laid golden eggs.  Every last one of them.  Sadly, the giant could not eat their eggs, but he could afford to buy lots of eggs at the grocer.  He began to sing to his chickens and they clucked back to him.

Jack suddenly popped out from behind a salt shaker and said “How do you do,” to the giant. Well, that giant almost fell out of his chair, but soon Jack realized the giant was not friendly and would, indeed, grind his bones, if he didn’t get out of there.

So Jack grabbed one of the chickens thinking at least he and his mother could eat it, and ran for the beanstalk.

Jack heard the giant running after him so he climbed down as fast as he could as he heard above him the crashing of branches as the giant slid after him.

Once down on the ground Jack ran for an ax and chopped the beanstalk down.  Down, down fell the giant and with a huge crash landed on the ground.  Jack stood over him, thinking the giant was dead.  But he was only gravely injured, so Jack and his mother bandaged him up and cared for him until he became well. In the meantime, they all became good friends.  With the one chicken and her golden eggs, Jack was able to buy his mother a castle, beautiful clothes and all the food she could want.  As for him and the giant, whose name was Fred, they became close friends and built a cozy cabin in the woods where they raised a herd of milk cows and raised beans. None of which ever grew as high as that first beanstalk.

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The End. Bye.

 

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